4I IS LOVE.

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4islove

The class blog of 4I'07 Dunman High School

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3[I]chiban 06
4islove 07
Past Gang Head: Chng Jia Hui
Current Gang Head: Celine Chee (No retirement for you!)
Outstanding achievement: We are a class!

Monday, March 25, 2019

11:38 PM

I'm in a slump today, and also in a mood to write, but just not on my personal blog (I'll provide context soon). So here I am :) If you are reading this, I likely would have moved on with my slump

I'm not sure how Google statistics work, but apparently, people still view this blog. They could all be me, but I really can't explain the 100+ views in August 2018. Spambots? Because I don't think people read this space anymore.

For those who don't follow my life anymore (which I think is pretty much everyone), I'm a teacher now. I have no issues saying where I teach, but I'm not posting here just so that I don't leave an online public trail (plausible deniability). You can always PM me to find out. But suffice to say, the school I am in now is very different from DHS.

As to why I teach, well I took on the MOE Teaching Award in 2012. As to why I took that...I particularly like this quote from Assassination Classroom.

I guess for me it's a little bit of both. I think the times in 3i/4i are what I hope to see in classes I teach, although I recognise that the strongest class spirit are built by the students, not the teachers.

So back to my slump. That is from expectations for my students who didn't manage to meet them. It's not about grades. It's just homework submission -.- While as students we don't submit work from time to time, I don't think it's as bad as having half the class ignoring deadlines (without reason).

So there is self-doubt, whether I am too nice (which doesn't benefit students), or whether I am expecting too much from them. I really hope not though, because I hope to not be a teacher that lowers my expectations just so that I don't get disappointed.

So it's a night of writing other stuff, preparing work, and procrastinating. I ended up on my really really old blog, then I ended up here finding sec 4 level camp photos to share with my EL classes (I teach English! Surprise surprise! To think Geneve had this incredulous look and laugh when she realised I read (yes I still remember)). I read a few posts, and...well decided to write my thoughts here.

As to why not do so on my personal blog (both old and new), I guess I just feel more secure that students won't find this here, given that my old blog is defunct, and my new blog doesn't link to this space. Though I won't put it past a crazy student of mine to eventually find this space, so hi if you are my student and reading this.

Revisiting this space helps. It reminds me of when I was a student myself, and when we were a class. I don't think we were particularly motivated (though I think most of us still did enough work) until Y4 promotion. We had a lot of class moments though, including the shit stirring ones. But I still remember Mr Yap (I think...our maths teacher in Y4) saying in a PTM that we have a bond that are stronger than how a normal class is. I don't think I fully appreciated his words until I came to teach classes myself.

Well, I'm more or less done here. My ramblings did help to stabilise my heart a little, and if you're interested enough to be coming here and read this (perhaps you need to find something intangible from this space as well), I thank you for doing so. I hope my writing ability has improved.

On a side note, with reference to the graduation photo post (about 4-5 posts back), Photobucket seems weird now, as if it might force all its customers to subscribe to a plan now. So I've downloaded all the photos just in case. If the account ever gets locked, and you want photos, just let me know, no matter how long we have not talked to each other :)